Fantasy Knife

Top 5 Ridiculous Video Game Weapons

They were the weapons you loved to have and made your enemies run in fear if they had a brain (or they would no longer have one if number 3 on our list was your chosen weapon). They were the overpowered and apocalyptic weapons that tilted the scales far in your favor. They made you a video game God. They were also ridiculous. You had to wonder who made these weapons. How were they physically possible? Some of them were bittersweet, looking fantastic in the hands of their previous owner but then proving nearly unusable in your own. And, as you will see with one of our picks, sometimes you wondered why they were even in the game. The top 5 ridiculous video game weapons sometimes defined the games they were in and often plagued the last minute Halloween costume maker.

5. Final Fantasy VIII – The Gun Blade

This weapon made the list because it is likely the most impractical weapon ever created in a video game. It was harder to use than a simple sword and, despite what you might think, didn’t actually fire any projectiles. Instead, pulling the trigger would send a powerful vibration through the blade that would deal extra damage to your enemies. This brings two questions to mind. First, why wouldn’t you want this extra damage? Why not set up the blade to always give out this extra damage. Just affix a button to the regular grip and you’re all set. Second, why wasn’t it a gun? Wouldn’t this be a far more useful weapon? The gun blade made an appearance in several Final Fantasy games but first appeared in the hands of Squall in Final Fantasy VIII.

4. F.E.A.R. – Armacham Type-7 Particle Weapon

This weapon, although powerful, came with a serious disadvantage. If you missed on your first shot at close range, you were a deer in headlights. However, at a distance, this weapon was truly ridiculous. We won’t go into the physics of this weapon (it’s not possible) but it essentially melted the flesh from your unarmored enemy in one shot and left them as a humorous bloody skeleton. Come up against an army equipped with these weapons and you’ve got a serious problem on your hands. This weapon was a good reason for the title of the game and coming up against an armored clone equipped with one of these babies was a jaw clenching experience – even with super fast reflexes.

3. Turok 2 – Cerebral Bore

Ah the cerebral bore. At least the Particle Weapon was a quick death. The cerebral bore was a series of painful functions that ultimately left the recipient with an empty skull. In the single player campaign, the cerebral bore was deadly. A small projectile was fired with hooks, a drill bit and an explosive device. Once this device hooked on to the victim’s skull, it would bore into their head, suck out a gusher or blood and brains and finally blow up the victim in a cloud of gore. In multiplayer, this gun was not deadly against an opponent at full health. However, it packed a critical punch. Anyone that played Turok 2 multi player certainly remembers that distinctive whine and the pitter-patter of everyone on the map running for their lives.

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2. Silent Hill 2 – The Great Knife

Who didn’t want to be Pyramid Head for a day? This hulking Egyptian monolith wielded this weapon like it weighed 1,000 lbs. but swung it like a feather. It took braving a dark run through a tunnel with the man himself right on your tail to find out just what this weapon packed. Just like Pyramid Head, you were forced to drag this weapon behind you and swing it laboriously over your head to simply annihilate the poor soul standing in front of you. However, once you tucked it away in your pocket, everything was just fine. For this reason, the Great Knife comes in at number two. Its uses were few and, despite its power, you were left fairly well crippled while using it. Still, it’s as close as we’ll ever get to being the big guy, for now at least.

1. Doom – BFG 9000

No surprises here. There comes a time when you have to relax when dealing with alien technology – really anything is possible. However, the BFG 9000 likely started the trend of ridiculous guns in the future and no video game weapon list is complete without the BFG 9000 coming in somewhere near number one. The actual name of this gun has been disputed. According to Doom’s game manual, it was the “Big Freakin’ Gun.” According to one of the worst video game movies ever made, it was the nonsensical “Bio Force Gun.” Players (and the original writer, Tom Hall) had a much less G rated name for it. Whatever the name, this weapon was absolutely ridiculous – cooking up enemies with a single shot and blowing them into video game history.

Honorable Mentions:

God of War – Blades of Chaos/Olympus
Gears of War – Hammer of Dawn
Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 – Tactical Nuke

About the Author

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