Rolls Carrying

Rolls Carrying

Keep it Careful: Outdoor Firepit Safety for Automotive Buffs

You should never keep old cars laying around your back yard. To what degree you are a nerd, or boffin, for general ‘automative’ subjects is totally insignificant. So you subscribe to Car and Driver, keep a wrench next to your salad fork, pipette antifreeze in between sips of blue Icee and bench-press Ford Festivas without the aid of a creatine monohydrate supplement. Your old cars are still an eyesore.

Be mindful of a fire pit as an option. You have no way of knowing when a stray spark from that thing touch off the gasoline residue in your Rolls. As we often learn from the news or videos of the most dangerous events in life, sparks can cause a car to explode. It can happen quickly.

Fortunately, there is a solution, but it only works if you have one of the small, portable fire pit units.
If you have a fire-pit from Tiscany or it starts with the letter C you can get the car towed immediately. But, if you own a good space saving model that has a cover and a handle, now it’s time to listen to advice from the Towers of Hammurabi.

The best way to do this is by picking up the fire pit by the handle and carrying it out. Is it heavy? Add a bit of moxie to it!

Well, at the very least you have managed to remove the car-bomb danger. You have made it safely home, not totally, but in one way. Of course, you might end up with fines if people in your neighborhood call the police on your for violating ‘quiet time’ laws, letting a fire pit remain on the town sidewalk and strolling sideways wearing a green windbreaker. Are these small components really significant? At least you will avoid the disappointment of rising out of bed the next day to discover that you own a PT Oozer, a Mini Glooper or a Volkswagen Ugh.

The second step is to drive the cars away. Remove them from the area immediately. Nothing simpler, and more portable….you just pick up your firepit and go home. 

You need to do nothing more than this. Relax. Start a blaze in a fire pit of your very own. If you get nostalgic for the old days before your cars were on the street, when your mini-fiefdom was imbued with a general automotive aura, just remember that all life is sacrifice. When starting the fire in your new fire pit be careful in your selection of starter fluid as some compounds like gas or kerosene can be very explosive and lead to an explosion rather than the controlled fire you are seeking.

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